thevintageteenager

Jesus Birthday.

Posted on December 25, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Christmas Day arrived earlier this year…I swear it did! We woke up in Wanaka had a huge buffet breakfast then went for a walk lakeside.
We discovered a stand of kanuka that is indigenous to the area plus an area of new plantings of natives that were all set up with a bin of water, buckets and signs asking passers by to water them. So that’s what we did.
It rained a little on the walk not enough to be too much bother and I enjoyed bird watching – spotting the grey warblers, chaffinches, gold finches and silver eyes. They were having a blast. It was the perfect day.
We skyped family & friends after lunch (no dishes!) we drank our new favourite local bottle of red wine then took advantage of the spa.
I braved the steam room. It was good. Really good.
If course it’s not Christmas if you don’t open Christmas crackers, wear a ridiculous paper hat, play with a pointless plastic toy and tell a terrible joke. This Christmas totally rocked.
Hope wherever you are yours did too!

Posted in Adventure of a Lifetime, Flora & Fauna | Tagged Holiday | Leave a comment

Views du jour.

Posted on December 24, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Here is a curated selection of stunning South Island scenery from today’s leg of our Adventure of a lifetime. Touring the South Island on our motorcycle.

Posted in Adventure of a Lifetime, Flora & Fauna | Tagged New Zealand, On two wheels, South Island, Travel, Travelogues | Leave a comment

Four hundred & twenty seven point two.

Posted on December 24, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Today we made what was for me an endurance trek on the bike. Traveling between Christchurch and Wanaka. We encountered the strongest wind gusts I have ever felt and as I looked around us at the topography and the barren landscape at that moment I thought “that explains the lack of trees”. We both think it was gusting stronger than Wellington and that is saying something!!
We stopped for a bite to eat at Lake Tekapo and ate at ‘Reflections’ where we sat with a beautiful view across the lake. That is when the rain came down so the stop provided the perfect opportunity to put on our wet weather gear.

427.2 kms from our start in Chch and through some awesome twisty and near empty roads we arrived in Wanaka, jumped in the spa for a stretch of our sore muscles. I got the sauna up and running for some intense relaxation and was enjoying the experience immensely until a bloody huge black & fast moving spider sat down beside me. Little Miss Moffat was out of there like a shot. The steam room session was aborted.

All up we had about five and a half hours on the bike today. Much of the road was dead straight – especially for the first half of the journey. Dead straight and dead boring landscape. Not much to see at all. After Tekapo things began to get interesting. Lupins growing wild on the roadside, incredible cliffs set into farmland with silver sparkling deposits of rock (shine bright like a diamond), tall and majestic poplars, one lane bridges, dams holding azure blue water, idyllic streams and groves of trees, fields of gold as far as the eye can see, huge hawks flying overhead, and long straight stretches of empty road with maximum sight lines. Just perfect for a motorcycling adventure for two.

Tonight we are dining at Wanaka’s top restaurant and enjoying incredible Italian wine. The perfect Christmas Eve.

Posted in Adventure of a Lifetime, Flora & Fauna, Fun (Funity) | Tagged New Zealand, On two wheels, South Island, Travel, Travelogues | Leave a comment

Eyebrows for a corpse.

Posted on December 23, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

The second installment in my ongoing series ‘What the?’ Is a real treat.
Now I am the first to slap on a false moustache if the moment calls for it. I recall wearing one for Christmas day a couple of years ago (our family photos are priceless!) it was a special moment. I even had a box of Emergency moustaches on my desk. So you can tell that moustaches and I are pretty close and therefor it stands to reason that I don’t mind sticking bits of hair or fluff to my face when I need to. What I find the most perplexing about these ‘beauties’ is that they are eyebrows. You must see these for yourself:

I don’t know the last time I saw a corpse with highlighter pink eyebrows. Maybe I haven’t seen the right corpses. Or a fox with double-rainbow eyebrows. Is this real life? You decide.

Posted in Fun (Funity), What The?! | Tagged Humour, What The!? | Leave a comment

I’m on a boat.

Posted on December 22, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Today is the beginning of our Adventure of a Lifetime. Summer Holiday Circa 2013/14. It began early. At 12:15am to be precise when my old nemesis the alarm insisted that we abruptly end our slumber and get out of bed. Our Bluebridge Ferry sailing is at 2:30am. It is my birthday. I hate mornings. Husband left his cellphone at home. Hopefully that is the only disaster on the trip.
Our early morning ride to the ferry was long enough to remind me of the joys of motorcycling. The exposure to the elements, feeling where the wind can penetrate your gear, smelling the freshly cut pine tree logs on the air as you ride alongside the port, feeling the persistent rub of the knee protection irritating and constant. Recalling a spot inside my helmet that after hours of constant wear creates a dull ache on the crown of my head. I haven’t worn my gear for about a year (if not longer) and getting acquainted with its idiosyncrasies is a part of the journey. It will soften and I will adjust. I have packed what I think is a fantastic travelling wardrobe into the equivalent of a teeny tiny bathroom cupboard sized top box or pannier. Smaller than a carry on suitcase. It really is a Christmas miracle that I could close the thing. And yes there is a pair of high heels. (It is my Birthday Festival after all).
Husband and I have settled into our seats, the bike is tied down and affixed to the deck of the boat. Dwarfed by the massive truck parked up hard against it.

Leg one of our AoaL is about to begin. See you soon South Island.

Posted in Adventure of a Lifetime, Flora & Fauna, Fun (Funity) | Tagged Adventure, Ferry, New Zealand, On two wheels, South Island, Travel, Travelogues | Leave a comment

Sexy. Love. Ignorant.

Posted on December 21, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Small town New Zealand has many charms. The quaint coffee shops, the composting toilets and the friendly locals. A ridiculously long Main Street with the highway running through it and only one pedestrian crossing plus an abundance of roundabouts. Always a fun combination. This weekend we stole ourselves away from the chaos and drama that is the weekend before Christmas. We punctuated the Birthday Festival with a weekend stay in Otaki on the Kapiti Coast. It was lush. We stayed in a batch near the beach. Watched the sun set, strolled on the sand, slept in. Had a BBQ and drank lots of champagne through a straw. (Ok only I did that (birthday girl can drink Moët through a straw if she wants to). I opened presents and delighted in the presence of my friends.
We popped into town, were impressed by the laughingly bad service in a cafe and were deliriously happy when we found these stockings:

It was magic. Then I found some merchandise that has inspired a new feature that I like to call “What The?!”
I really can’t imagine that people exist who would actually buy this stuff? But exist they must because here they are. May I present to you ‘Exhibit A’ :

I have no words. And now I have my fingers crossed that I don’t find some fake bread or fake (mostly eaten) apples in my Christmas Stocking. Eww.

Posted in Fun (Funity), What The?! | Tagged Humour, What The!? | Leave a comment

Birthday Festival.

Posted on December 19, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

My birthday falls one day before the all important birthday of Jesus. You might have heard of him. I love having a birthday in summer however it does get somewhat overshadowed by Jesus and his birthday celebrations. It has only been recently as an adult that I have even bothered to have a party because friends are busy or away already. This party has now progressed into a week long celebration known as ‘Birthday Festival’ . This year I was blessed by the beard of Zeus because the opening of Anchorman 2 was kindly held during my Birthday Festival. A few of us got dressed up as our fave characters and made a night of it. (Any excuse to dress up and act the fool!) We loved every minute of the dress-ups (I was rapt to be wearing a vintage Dian Von Furstenberg wrap dress and original 70’s knee high boots) at the movie. I loved the humor & the wisecracks as always but I don’t think I’ll ever feel quite the same about Olivia Newton John’s hymen. Meanwhile it is late and I am wrapping Christmas presents and packing for a weekend of birthday festival activities ahead of the AoaL on the motorcycle! Gotta go!

Posted in Costume, Fun (Funity) | Tagged Costume, Fun (Funity), Movie | Leave a comment

Stay Classy Naenae.

Posted on December 17, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

I have whipped myself into a packing and cleaning frenzy as I pack for my South Island motorcycle Adventure of a Lifetime ( AoaL). Somehow the packing morphed into a massive spring clean purge of my wardrobe and once I had yelled ‘ demons be gone’ three times and rotated my head 360 degrees while spewing bile – my next task was a simple one. I had to fit a monster pile of clothes and shoes in the car ready for a one way trip to the nearest goodwill store. Literally I could barely see anything other than clothes in the rear view mirror. It was insane. I have realized that I am like the builder who lives in the half finished house! I need to take my own advice and edit my wardrobe more often. It is one thing to advise and assist clients to do this – it is a whole new kettle of fashion when it is your own wardrobe you are working on. While the process is tedious and time consuming it is not without its own rewards. On the way to the goodwill store I was blessed to spot this little gem of marketing genius:

Needless to say I did not get a haircut there today.

Posted in Fun (Funity) | Tagged Humour, Style, Travel | Leave a comment

Blackbird.

Posted on December 16, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager

Summer in my garden brings lots of beauty, joy and responsibility. There is the weeding, mulching, planting and general garden and lawn maintenance that takes time… As well as that I have added provider to my list of chores. We have more than one nest of hungry baby birds and frantic parents to placate. An apple a day has been keeping the parent birds happy and satiated …. until I began giving them pear which is the new neighborhood favourite. Mrs goldfinch and Mrs blackbird have had a spat over the pear du jour at the bird feeder. There really is enough for everyone but you can’t tell them that. They scrap like it is the end of the world. I will miss them and their babies as we journey around the South Island and will have to make sure that I leave behind some super ripe apples, pears and oranges for my feathered friends. As well as instructions for our house sitters re: the daily feeding regime at the homemade bird feeder. We have to keep up with the fruit supply.

Posted in Flora & Fauna | Tagged Garden, Summer | Leave a comment

This tee is reading my mind…

It is only just barely over one week until I/we hit the road on our ‘Adventure of a Lifetime’ South Island motorcycle adventure slash honeymoon slash road trip slash summer holiday. Today I did chores. I did not leave the house except once to go to the mail box to collect mail (birthday cards – yippee!) I washed loads of washing, vacuumed, dusted, cleaned and polished areas of the house and began the arduous task of packing. How does a woman with a whole room as a closet pack to travel on a motorbike for two weeks? I have no idea. I help other people pack for their holidays for a living so I guess I will figure it out. Meanwhile I’d really would rather be shopping. Stay tuned…

Posted on December 14, 2013 by The Vintage Teenager | Leave a comment